1. Advertises a company? Check.
2. Covers and protects bald spot? Check.
3. Shades eyes from the sun? Check.
4. Is given away for free at a booth? Not check.
5. Makes you feel like a dad, regardless of marital and parental status? Check.
Overall, it makes me feel like I've grown up to be my father, with all the worries and stress that it entails.